A journey through my Ignorance

I remember when I signed up for this class I thought, easy A+ I’m a multicultural student taking a multicultural education class. My heritage should be enough that I wouldn’t even need to take this class. I was so wrong. Throughout this class I’ve been shown time and again what my ignorance wouldn’t allow me to see. I’m grateful for every reading, every video, and every discussion that we’ve had throughout this semester that has brought me knowledge and shown me my weaknesses. I’m not claiming to be cured of these biases; I am just cured of the ignorance of my ignorance. I hope to continue to learn and grow allowing others to do so also.

PORTFOLIO I:

I always dreamed of my classroom but I don’t think during those dreams I had a thought to the students. I’m very aware of individuality but I didn’t realize the depth of it. I knew about accommodations but I never realized the empathy or patience required to accommodate. Looking back at this assignment I realize how naive I was. More worried about the art on the walls then the students that filled the desks. I realize that my subject (history) speaks of people’s stories but what can I do to help these kids realize that they are living theirs? What can I do as an educator to make them proud and comfortable in their circumstances and their so-called “disadvantages”?

PORTFOLIO II:

The danger of single story spoke to me. It wasn’t exactly my experience but I felt it was so relatable that I posted it to my Facebook page. I am apart of a very small but tight knit society of Polynesians in Utah. The responses were astounding. Though this was a lady from a different race and culture we could identify with her because our end picture was similar, we were 2^nd generation Americans now. It was incredibly easy to find information for my blog. It is so apparent the racisms and single story stereotypes that occur against the Muslim community. But these single story stereotypes encompass so much more than just different cultured students. It encompasses every student and their different circumstances. I cannot assume that because two children from two different families that have gay fathers have the same story. Everyone has a different story. My responsibility is to listen as I work with my future students.

PORTFOLIO III:

Like I said in the blog, being the “other” is a constant. Yet the experience I had opened up a whole new realm for me. I realize that being the other in that circumstance wasn’t entirely based on my cultural differences but also my faith. I’m surprised that instead of coping with my otherness I became bitter and outright rejected the activities. If my students were to reject the feeling of other, which would be understandable, I’ve got to be there to make them feel like they are apart of it. Not by making them conform, but by addressing the differences and discussing individually the conflicts. There are going to be some instances where they might want to step out or not participate, I understand but it will be dependent on student to student.

The other project also made me think of the different social issues that occur in the community. Like gender inequality, race and ethnicity, language and immigration, religion, ability, sexual orientation. Each of these topics can make an individual feel like the other! We’ve all felt like the other at one point for different reasons and its important to know what reason my student feels uncomfortable and how I can change the classroom atmosphere to help them be confident. Sometimes its good to be the other to help others realize that there is another perspective but never to hider the child’s learning.

PORTFOLIO IV:  

Family culture is such apart of me that I realize that most of my opinions and biases come from there. I also know that if I project those biases and experiences on my students I could potentially isolate them. This project helped me realize how much apart of me is my family culture and how every student individually has a separate and unique family culture despite their culture. No two white people are the same, such as an Asian and a Latino aren’t the same? We are all unique and to be ignorant as I have of this is to isolate children, communities, and myself in a box.

PORTFOLIO V:

This was the most eye opening to me. They say jail changes a person and I believe it. But I also believe it changes everyone involved with that person. Their children, parents, spouses, nieces and nephews. Everyone that loves them is affected by their ending up in there. I found sympathy for each of the cellmate’s backgrounds. What could they have become if they’d seen the vision that Heavenly Father has for them. Or if there was one person that saw their potential. It reminded me of the book we read also for Book club. Bad boys. There is a cell with that child’s name on it already. This hurts me as an educator. The community needs hope and that comes from the diligence of teahers that find that hope in individuals potentials. I learned so much about immigrants their families and from the different experiences that others went through I gained new perspectives on what happens around the community. I realized my own privilege in this assignment. My privilege was blinding me from the experiences of others and their own battles.

The discussions we had about class and poverty especially helped me analyze myself during this experience. I never thought that a child could go through so much then be expected to go through so much more in the classroom to keep up with the students that don’t have these issues. 

PORTFOLIO VI:

Re-imagining my classroom was eye opening. It was like going back into the head of myself before this class and seeing a naive superficial human that had no understanding of her own ignorance. I’m grateful I could re-imagine with better eyes on what my classroom entails. There is so much work to be done.  The discussion and readings for teaching for social justice came to mind when re-imagining. The purpose of multicultural education is to help us all be more aware of different perspectives and experiences and grow!

I’m excited to help my children grow and even I’m excited to grow from the exposure of their experiences and their stories.

PORTFOLIO VII:

(Book club was mentioned in Portfolio V section)

I hope that this post proves how much I’ve learned from the hours of reading, discussions (inside and outside of class) and the videos seen. It has opened my mind and heart to new thoughts of what it is to go through this human experience and how to help others on their way as an educator.

Bad Boys Review

Bad Boys: Public Schools in the Making of Black Masculinity Review

I am always fascinated by how an outsider can collect data like in this book. At one point the writer said she had become part of the family and sometimes just apart of the background. Especially in regards to when she went into the punishment room and when she interviewed the guardians of each student. This is detrimental to the study but it just fascinates me that its able to happen for over three years. I thought the author did a fabulous job depicting real examples and real experiences that are a good base for further study.

Some disturbances that made me feel uncomfortable and angry with was when the students that were excelling weren’t considered black. They were instead considered “schoolboys”. I have often heard this and seen this first hand. It shows that we need to help stop the stereotype that excelling in this life is apart of EVERY culture. I hope that by my example of being a minority in education they can see that vision in themselves.

Another disturbance was the age of the boys. Starting at 10 years old they are told that they have a cell waiting for them.  How at such a young age can these children be labeled as future criminals that are considered “unsalvageable”? This brings to my remembrance the videos seen in class about LGBT students talking about their teachers. Though teachers are humans we need to realize at all times we are shaping the minds of the future. Their futures. If they live in a society that tells them they will end up in jail based on their color it is our responsibility, as this book entails, to tell them otherwise.

This discussion of race and ethnicity a couple months ago came back to mind also. It seemed that these children were pre-destined by the school system to fail or to become “bad boys.”  She refers throughout the book to the groups she’s created to describe the boys, the “schoolboys”, the “troublemakers” and so forth. It becomes culturally accepted to be a troublemaker and even the terminology creates these groups. What the teachers call these boys comparatively to the white counterpart.

The stories in this book opened up the topic of race and ethnicity even further. Allowing me to see how crucial it is for me as an educator to cater to the needs of individuals. Though the book exposes a lot about the school system in creating these bad boys, she does little to provide a solution. I hope to as a future educator to help children see their worth because of their race and cultures. There is power in diversity and in my classroom hopefully deteriorating stereotypes will cease.

Community Experience- Jailhouse Rock

We single filed into the County Jail through the metal detector. The Officer that met us at the entrance of the Spanish Fork Correctional Facility was a kind gentleman with a gentile disposition. "You the BYU group?" We nodded our heads. "What class are you in for? “"In for" it was as if we were the ones going into the cells. "Multi-cultural Education." We realized how racist that seemed and decided collectively to say, "We're here for a secondary education class." That's better, sounds less racial profiling. I admit openly that what I saw during that tour disturbed me entirely. It opened my eyes to the life of prisoners and even the life of officers. It was a humbling experience in which I realized what freedom really is.

 Officer Amos mentioned that most of these convicts stay behind bars for 3-6 months depending on the severity of the crime. Most are in for drug usage and distribution. He said once you land in jail it starts the vicious cycle that turns into more of a life sentence. This makes me ponder for a second. My high school was known for its drug busts. Most of these convicts had been here since their teens. Officer Amos mentioned they wouldn't last long in the system. Eventually they'd O.D. How many of my classmates were in the jail now? What influence could I have been as their peer? What influence can I be to my future students? A freedom writer’s scene runs through my head where Hilary Swank is cussing out Mario for a paper he wrote. We continue on with the tour. 

When I thought prison I don't know why I never expected to see that ALL of someone’s rights and freedoms were taken away. We viewed these inmates like they were animals at a zoo. Each of them stared back. I was afraid if I made eye contact they'd be angry on how privileged I was. I grew up in a middle class loving family that had nurtured me into the woman I am today. I looked away quickly less they realize my privilege and feel even more ashamed. The younger ones act out more than the older ones. According to Officer Amos they have to make a name for themselves. This is a small community where they know each other well. They are each other’s families. 

 My political science professor said there are four reasons for jail: Rehabilitation, to deter behavior public safety and retribution. There were many rehabilitation programs in the jail. The inmates had opportunities to do various jobs for less than minimum pay. Sometimes it was the first job they had ever done in their lives. There were libraries and Sunday school. They could if they choose finish their high school diploma. It seemed all for naught because they couldn't get a job once they got out because of their criminal record. Which would lead them to do what they were doing before and back into the jailhouse. 

So as an educator I share  responsibility of  keeping my students out of such places. Though I realize circumstances differ, perhaps by my involvement in the children's extracurricular I could make a difference. With love and attention I could be apart of the support individuals need. I know I can't be that teacher to every student because some might not click with me for that kind of trust but I can work hard to see that my students get the best they can out of my classes by doing my best. 

Fotu Family Culture

1. As sisters we love high adventures. Whether it be rockclimbing,
 backpacking, or snowboarding.

2. This is my Mom reading to my nephew. Growing up she made it part our culture
to read to us since we were little.
Growing up she read us LOTR series, Chronicles of Narnia,
 all the Newberry Award winners. 

3. Being a member of the LDS faith is a huge part of my family.
It is what defines our values and
 keeps us together even during hard times. 

4.We are proud Americans! 

5. My family is huge on hiking since I was little. It has always been our family activity. 

6. We celebrate each others sucesses as a family. With great food
and always heaps of flowers.

8. Education has always been my father's strongest emphasis. 

7. My grandfather is who instilled the love of hiking and we always considered
Angels Landing his hike.
It is therefore a tradition to hike this and think of him. 

9. I love history. This love is shared by my
family and we love to travel to
historical places to learn and experience more. 

10. My mother is an artist. Therefore we've travelled the country looking at art work. Even the abstract. 

12. I am in a family of missionaries. Each of us have served. 

11. Halloween is our favorite holiday. As an extended family we dress up hard core. 

13. Music has always been a huge part of my life.
I personally have played the Piano, Violin, Clarinet,
Saxophone, and was in Children Choir for 8 years. 

14. My Father played Rugby and growing up
we would be found on the rugby field and
knew the sport better than any 

15. We are BYU! Since we were little it was always a dream
to come here. It is where my parents went and all of us girls. 

17. In comparison to my very conservative environment
me and my family are considered liberals. 

16. We've always had a strong relationship
with our grandparents. They are a huge part
of my family culture. 

18. Tongan culture is very apart of our family culture 

20. Eating out and eating everything! 

19. We all watch heaps of NETFLIX! 

Reflecting on these artifacts I understand the biases my culture might have on my teaching abilities. There are a lot of positive biases I might have and a lot of negative. It is interesting because these are mostly 

1. Being adventurous can help the classroom because I could connect with those that are into similar activities.
2. My mom reading to us every night helped me gain a love for reading and for stories which can only be an asset to my teaching.
3. I wouldn't want my religion to make others feel isolated because of their unbelief or various beliefs. This could serve as a hindrance but I believe it would be more as a help because my belief in a higher being would keep me in perspective of the worth of every student.
4. My great love for America could be a hindrance if I allow it to become imperialism instead of just nationalism. My love for America could allow me work harder for the white collar!
5. My great family ties and the love for nature allows me to explore with creativity!
6. Again with family being a huge part of my life it could only be a help to have support. I come from a family of teachers so I know they've gone through similar experiences and could help me in the classroom.
7. It being a tradition to hike I think it would also only help.
8. With such a love for education I know I can continue to work hard for my students.
9. My love for history and my visiting the different places I study with make my experiences more authentic and therefore better to teach by.
10. Though art is not my subject I'll be teaching I think the appreciation of it will allow me to see different perspectives of passions.
11. I don't know if Halloween loving will have anything to do with hinderance or help to my classroom. But maybe if I were to decorate my classroom I would try to be sensitive to different beliefs that didn't celebrate the same things or in the same way.
12. Serving a mission can only help me as a teacher because that's what I did for 18 months.
13. Again having a past in music allows me to have another perspective.
14. My dad playing rugby and sports in general will allow for different perspectives to be had.
15. Loving BYU is a help because I can get students excited for higher education.
16. Love for grandparents will allow me the respect I need to learn from the past and appreciate the future and especially in history teaching.
17. Being a democrat could be a hinderance if my students ever knew my political opinion. I wouldn't want them to think that because of my opinion they had to be silent.
18. My Tongan culture will be a help. Another perspective to aid my teaching.
19. Netflix would be a hinderance. I would spend all day watching it and then never grade papers and fail as an educator.
20. Eating out will be a hinderance because I would be too fat to do all I need to and I'd be poor from spending all my money on food.

             

The Other

Feeling like the “other” is a consistent struggle for me. Being half-cast polynesian-caucasian it meant I was either the “ white” at Tongan functions or the “brown” person everywhere else in Utah. It was a constant struggle that I have had to come in terms with. It still is a struggle with others as I feel that they try to categorize me into a box that makes sense to them. Upon hearing about this assignment I thought, “When am I not “the other”.” I decided to stretch myself because maybe being a constant other I’ve come immune to the feelings of “other-ship” and therefore yet another experience with it will allow me to be empathetic and analyze it objectively using the perspective obtained from readings and class discussions.

As part of my “other” assignment I decided to go to my cousin’s fiance’s bridal shower. There were two different showers this weekend one run by my girl cousin and one run by the bride's friends. I knew none of my family would be going to the latter so I decided to accomplish my assignment there. Like anticipated, I was the only polynesian there and it was my first bridal shower attended that was run by caucasians.

They invited me in and had me introduce myself. I felt a little uncomfortable by the fact that I had broken a social norm of going to a party I wasn’t personally invited to but other than that I felt fine. I adapted quickly and got to know everyone. Being social and making friends comes easier to me and I thought that maybe this wouldn’t serve its purpose for being an “other “ experience. This changed when they started playing bridal shower games. They got a poster of a naked man and we played pin the junk on the hunk. Similar to pin the tail on the donkey. We played a number of crude games that at one point I felt too uncomfortable to participate in, in which I left to go to the restroom. I don’t know if I can attribute my uncomfortableness to my cultural upbringing or my religious one but they both felt violated at this point. I continued as an observer of games instead of a participant until we moved on to the next event of gift giving.

Though I have grown up in a deluded Tongan/american culture there are still fundamentals that I have grown up with since infancy that are considered taboo and will result in a hiding if overstepped. One of these is the respect of brother and sister relationships. I consider my first cousins siblings. Therefore my cousin getting married is my brother. It is disrespectful to talk about my brother in front of me or my sisters, regarding sex. I should have probably foreseen this but I didn’t realize how different this “other” experience was going to be. With each gift came a detailed explanation, especially from the married gift givers. All the different gifts alluded to sex. My brother was the pit of every raunchy joke and I felt infuriated. I stayed silent and shared my gift. I brought mixing bowls. That was an “other-ing” experience because any bridal shower I had been to before was always family and mostly they were gifts of cookbooks and different house supplies. There was hardly ever talk of the wedding night which was focused on completely at this party.

Analyzing this experience I wonder how I can apply it to the classroom. There may be students that aren’t accustomed to different cultural customs or traditions. There may be conflicting customs. There may be students that are forced to be silent because the majority. There may be students that bring mixing bowls to a bridal shower and feel stupid. There is a lot that can be learned from other cultures and there are a lot of ways that these cultures can clash. But if there is understanding of these differences as a projector and a facilitator then we can address these differences and like my sub-cultural upbringing, come to a happy medium of the best of two worlds. There are still going to be biases and misunderstandings but it is our responsibility as educators to foresee these potential clashes and make an atmosphere where the “other” is eliminated.